Index

Chapter 4


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Interpersonal problem? Let's talk!

Well, maybe not. Maybe talking is the stupidest thing you can do.

Different people speak different languages. Some people are objective, and are personally committed to recognizing what's correct or what's wrong. They read, they study, they know. Some people are social, and don't really care about anything but relating or winning. Social people can be amazingly blind to facts. Facts are even more than invisible to them; they're of negative value, because they impede one's social standing.

These two types of people are going to be conflicting all the time. You bring them together into a conversation, and the results can only be bad. The person who only wants to "win", oblivious to any reality, will always oppose and dominate the person who is only interested in what is right. Because he wants to win, winning is all he cares about. He'll say anything.

The resulting resolution of the conversation, as you can see, will be Not Right. Whatever the guy who is interested in correctness says, the guy who wants to win will insist upon some opposing (and thus incorrect) argument. And he'll make sure that his wrong argument wins, because it's his horse.

This is why we live in a world of not-rightness.

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In a nutshell:

1. People who are motivated by truth will never have successful conversations with people who are motivated by dominance.

2. Any conclusions resulting from such encounters will probably be wrong, because they will be the opposite of whatever the correctness savant brought to the table. The other guy must win, that's all he cares about. This condition can have serious consequences.

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