Index

Chapter 5


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Turn signals, on the other hand, offer the opportunity for a little bit of expression. Imagine the situation of a car sweeping into the on-ramp of an expressway.

He turns on his signals just as soon as the painted lines allow hin to merge in.
MEANS: "Hello! May I come in please?"

He turns on his signals just as he begins to pull into the lane.
MEANS: "Get the **** out of my way."

He turns on his signals after he's halfway in:
MEANS: "Ha ha I'm in front of you."

He never does turn on his signals:
No message; he is 100% self-absorbed and expects everyone else to cater to him.

He never turns on his signals; he rolls to the end of the ramp and follows it as it merges in, like a ball rolling down a chute:
MEANS: He is brain-dead

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This is one area in which I am proud to be a flaming jerk. My policy is:
You don't have to signal; I don't have to move.

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