Chapter 8

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How do you explain to an insurance company that you can't accept the ordinary crappy computer keyboard that they want to give you? The one that you lost was an IBM metal frame model without numeric keypad and that's what you need to replace it. Your bicycle was custom-made for your 38-inch inseam and the correct upper body position for you, and any replacement bike is going to have to be custom-made as well.

That guitar was a 1960 Fender Jazzmaster, and nothing else will do. No, the guitars that they sell in the store aren't the same. No, they aren't good enough. And that record collection: No, those songs aren't all online. If they were online I wouldn't need the collection, and if they were online they would all be lo-fi digital, which my record collection isn't. You are going to have to make up 50 years of searching to replace that collection. Actually, more than 50 years because all the findable specimens have since disappeared into the landfills or other people's collections.