Index

Chapter 9


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In the mid-Seventies, before malevolence was established as a mainstream lifestyle choice, the vehicle of choice for the arrogant personality was the Oldsmobile. With huge size and a pioneering scowling facial expression, Oldses slouched across parking lot lines in a " #@&% YOU " expression all over town.

Of course, I noticed. I had a running offer to anyone that we could go to any large parking lot in town, count the cars hitting or crossing the space lines, and Oldsmobiles would be twice their market share. That was easy. I could have said four times the share and won. Of course, when I offered this wager to other people, they would immediately respond, "No, they don't".

I saw the cars. I was interested in stuff like this. I counted the cars. I counted other cars. I knew. But, the people didn't know; and because they didn't know, that qualified them to state that they knew better than I did.

They never counted cars.
They never noticed people "expressing themselves" in parking spaces.
They wouldn't recognize an Oldsmobile if they found it in bed with their wife.
But they knew better than I did, because they were proud, dumb Americans.

Nobody ever took me up on my offer, ever.

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