Chapter 12

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You're probably a sucker if you buy a car because you like the way it looks -- that kind of leaves out the question of whether it'll be a good car or a nightmare. Detroit cruised for many years on beautiful junk before most people wised up.

But I won't buy an ugly car, and in my book, cars with malevolent facial expressions qualify as ugly. That makes the selection of cars extremely limited these days. This presents an opportunity for aftermarket manufacturers.

Can they make scowl, growl, and snarl removal kits? Chunks of replacement body panels with a less-malevolent appearance? They don't have to be smiley or anything -- just beautiful, which malevolence isn't.


I went by the magazine counter the other day, and there was a picture of a car entitled "The New Face of Ford". The car was seethingly malevolent-looking. Malevolence in automobile styling has been with us for some while now, but this car was seethingly malevolent, on every side, from every angle.

If malevolent is the way that we're going to be now, I guess that makes Freedom a bad idea, doesn't it?