Chapter 13

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Why do so many diners and burger joints have inadequate straws? It ain't rocket science. They should be able to have a good straw.

What is a bad straw? How about the super-short ones that they give you with a super-tall cup? The cup is about as tall as the straw is long, and all you get when the straw is all the way in is a little nipple above the lid. Or how about the spaghetti-thin ones that they give you with a triple-thick shake? You'd need a laboratory high-vacuum generator to suck that shake through that tiny aperture.

There are nice fat shake straws available. McDonalds has them. Sometimes when I go through McDonalds, I pick up an extra straw. Just to have a little stock of them in the car, you know.