Chapter 14

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The other day, I told my doctor that I didn't need my antianxiety pills so much any more. I just have a shot of vodka before dinner and that suffices for now. Of course, she asked whether I ever drink more than that, and I said that once in a while I have two.

Was I lying? Of course. Whenever you have to tell someone how much alcohol you drink, you have to tell them half as much as you actually consume. This is a defensive action, because the person who is asking is going to mentally triple whatever number you say.

I actually have about 1.5 shots. If I told her that, her mind would turn it into three or maybe four drinks. She would be convinced that I lurch around drunken and violent every night. Instead of what actually happens, which is that the pain of life attenuates for a little while.


If you never look at the news, you might be unaware that "experts", whoever they are, say that the healthiest people are those who have "a couple" drinks a day. They call "a couple" two to four a day, which would render me mind-numbed on a permanent basis.